Fucked up Perforations

I take personal offense to packaging that includes instructions, and a very visible perforation, which does not tear along the perforation. 

Those small cereal boxes you get in hotels are notorious for that… the cut-away perforation that allows you to open up the box on the large side, so you can pour milk directly into the carton and use the box as a bowl. All you end up getting is a mangled carton that’s torn all wrong. And in the end, you look like the idiot who couldn’t open the box properly in the first place.

To all of those who work in the packaging industry, food industry or any other industry that designs “perforated cartons” for consumer use, please do us a favor and make the damn things more usable. Or just forget the perforations altogether. From a usability perspective, its just embarrassing, useless, and probably costs me more as a consumer to have these things die-cut with a perforation!

Dealership Emblems

I can understand and often see the name of car dealerships on license plate frames. After all, you simply MUST advertise free for them, although you’re paying THEM to drive the car. What I simply don’t get are the assholes who have separate dealership branding/emblems on the car, that are equal to or larger than the car brand emblems themselves.

WHY?

I just don’t get it. What’s worse is when that over-sized, stupid, dealership of an emblem is placed somewhere where it SHOULD be centered, but its not… or SHOULD be straight, but its not. From now on, when I see cars like that, I’ll be sure to see what these idiots looks like.

These people are so lazy and so clueless they have not noticed the emblem on their car is:
a) rather large and obtrusive (why even let people know where you bought the car? We don’t give a shit!)
b) on an angle or not properly centered (becuase these lazy asses probably don’t notice much to begin with).
c) they probably aren’t even aware there is a dealership emblem on the car (“oh! I never noticed!”)

These are probably the same people that drive not knowing their turn signal has been flashing for miles.

Idiots.

Lazy Headlights

Are some people really stupid enough not to notice that a headlamp is improperly aimed?

You know who I’m talking about… those cars at night with one headlight aimed perfectly straight, and the other one aimed towards the sky. I’d rather have a headlight out than functioning skywards. Are they searching trees for bats? This is the equivalent of having a LOSER sticker on your forehead.

And what about those who have properly aimed, but not properly tightened headlights? Those that jiggle over the slightest bumps in the road. Get off your lazy ass, get a screwdriver and tighten the damn thing so it works the way it was intended.

Idiots!

Big Trucks with Little Wheels

I’m going to just assume that more men drive trucks. Pickup trucks, that is. But why then does it seem like competition between men as to who has the bigger truck? Its is becoming everso more apparent that the guys that have the largest trucks seem to be the smallest, physically. I’m going to go out on limb here and assume they have the smallest dicks as well.

The more I observe, the more often these trucks are carrying no other payload than their driver. Some of them even have rubber nuts dangling of the trailer hitch. Many of them have after-market suspension, which elevates the truck off the ground to monster proportions, but they just leave the factory-installed wheels on there.

So in the end, the truck looks like an oversized, gas-guzzling, schoolbus-sounding, my-dick-is-bigger-than-yours matchbox car with tiny little wheels. The driver always thinks he’s cool, almighty and powerful. After all, he’s in control of his truck!

But in the end, its always a truck like that that you find up the street wrapped around a telephone pole, traffic signal or other car – cause their center of gravity has been so far shifted that they can’t possibly maneuver adequately.

And about those “little” trucks, with lowered suspensions and the micro-wheels that extend out beyond the truck body?

Checkbook Women

You have to be annoyed when you get in a grocery line and the women in front of you have a cart full of groceries and a checkbook in hand. Hell, even if they’re just buying a pack of gum, they have the checkbook in hand. Why is it that men, generally speaking, use cash, debit or credit cards to pay for things like groceries, whereas women prefer to use checks?

It takes them forever to write their checks! They have to double check the amount due, the store name and so on. 90% of the time, the clerk asks for supporting ID or a drivers’ license (which the check-writer then needs to find). You’d think they’d already have it out, considering this is the way they shop.

Next time you’re in a supermarket and the woman in front of you pulls out her checkbook, just put out a great, loud “sigh” and then “aw c’mon!”, start pacing back and forth between your two legs – and be sure to have your cash in hand. You’re sure to end up making them nervous. Perhaps if this happens one or more times, they’ll be inclined to think twice about yanking out the checkbook at the supermarket.

Cellphone Drivers

You know what really ticks me off? Those idiot drivers yapping on their cell phones. I mean c’mon! Do we really need to be speaking to people ALL the time? You’re driving a freaking machine encased in steel, ripping down the highway at deadly speed, but you’re still intent on dialing, texting, emailing, chatting, uploading.

You can tell who they are. They drive 20 miles below the posted speed limit, usually in the fast lane. They exit at the last minute, generally cutting others off. They don’t use hands free devices, and you can typically spot them through the back window, because their heads have a hand attached to them.

Can we take these people off the road? Put a law in place, like other states, that gives tickets to those who are (not really) driving their cars. When I eat a meal, I focus on the food. When I’m at work, I focus on the work. When I’m talking to someone else on the phone, they have my undivided attention. And when I’m driving, I become one with the machine that surrounds me.

Radar Detectors

You know what really ticks me off? The idiots who place radar detectors on their windshields improperly. You’ve seen them before… the radar detectors slapped on a windshield, aimed upwards at 45 degrees. Can they really be accurate this way?

Regardless of how accurate they might be, it just looks plain stupid, as if the bracket is broken or the cable is pulling the thing off the windshield. Why would anyone want to give that impression? Its as though those people don’t seem to care about their stuff – or themselves – for that matter.

Right Turners

You know what really ticks me off? Those idiots who make a right-hand turn onto a two or three lane street, but can’t seem to turn the wheel enough to stay in the right-hand most lane. Those are the people I purposely pass at high-speed, with my horn blaring. It scares the shit out of them and cracks me up.

Its even funnier when they’re on their cell phones… which probably explains why they’re too lazy to turn the car in the first place – they’re pre-occupied, socializing, unable-to-drive idiots who deserve to be in accidents or have their driver’s licenses revoked.

Can we take these idiots off the road? Does this have to do with lazy people or cell-phone-while-driving people?